I wanted us to have a shared vocabulary for values that are important to me, and that I hope will become important to him as he grows up. I wanted to equip him to consistently make positive decisions for himself and those around him, cultivating a sense of pride, self-worth, and belonging in our evolving world. I think every parent wants that for their kids.

The values I describe in the book — things like strength of body and mind, courage, honor, discipline, and kindness — intentionally draw from both traditional and more modern ideas of masculinity. I hope that as my son grows into an adult, he is able to freely access the many wonderful traits to be found in each. 

The book is also a response to an ongoing crisis afflicting boys and men, one that seems to be worsening. Recent trends paint an alarming picture of young men’s declining outcomes across high school performance, college enrollment, workforce participation, relationship formation, addiction, incarceration, radicalization, and suicide compared to their female counterparts. Behind these trends often lie stories of profound isolation and disconnection from society.

The Great Boys Book aims to help parents, mentors, and caregivers anchor boys in the sense that they belong.

That their boyhood, aligned to these values and behaviors, is vital to their flourishing, and to that of their loved ones, their communities, and our society.

In recent years, we have witnessed a long-overdue trend toward greater gender representation in many forms of media, including kids’ books. I want to be clear that in writing The Great Boys Book for boys specifically, it’s neither my intent to “push back” against that trend, nor to make any pointed statement about the ongoing gender discourse. I believe boys need and deserve our support and compassion, and that we can enthusiastically give it to them while working hard to uplift other groups of people at the same time. 

I hope many other parents, mentors, caregivers, and the boys in their lives find The Great Boys Book as enjoyable and useful as my son and I have, and that it can play some part in helping our boys not only regain their footing but stride with purpose. The Great Boys Book is not just a guide for our boys today but an investment in the men they will become and the world they’ll help to build.

– Tom Fishman